The past two summer transfer windows have been incredible for West Ham. Signing absolute bargains, such as Diafra Sakho and Aaron Cresswell as well as world class players such as Dimitri Payet and Champions League finalist Angelo Ogbonna.
However, once upon a time, it was not as simple as this. It was almost the norm for West Ham to sign dreadful players. Here are some of the worst of the Premier League era, based on their cost and their performance in a claret and blue shirt.
5) Matt Jarvis
Signed in 2012 from Wolves for a then club record fee of £10.75million, England international Jarvis was a sign of ambition for the newly promoted hammers. He started off well, scoring in one of his first games against QPR, but apart from the odd goal, he has failed to live up to his hefty price tag due to his various failed crosses and habits of losing the ball whilst dribbling. Likely to leave West Ham soon, his most memorable moment was leaking the new West Ham kit last season by tweeting a picture of him eating cereal in it
4) Modibo Maïga
In a similar story to Matt Jarvis, the Malian international signed for £5million in 2012 and hit the ground running, even managing to score the winner against Chelsea. West Ham fans called that he should be played more for the 2013/14 season, but they should’ve been careful what they wished for. He ended up going over 12 months without a goal before scoring the winner against Spurs in the Capital One Cup. It got to the point with Maiga that Big Sam decided to drop him and play without a striker after 2 months of his dreadful performances, so he decided to play a 4-6-0 formation against Spurs, which West Ham subsequently won 3-0. After failing to save Metz from relegation, he has somehow managed to stay at the club. The only logical explanation is that he is blackmailing the David’s in to keeping him here.
3) Keiron Dyer
England international Dyer was signed by West Ham for £6million from Newcastle in 2007, earning around £60,000 per week. He made his debut against Birmingham in the league, but after a tackle from Joe Jacobsen against Bristol Rovers in a League Cup game 10 days later, Dyer was ruled out for the rest of the season. He returned 17 months later in January 2009. He then got injured on the opening game of the 09/10 season against Wolves and only played once more that season. His injury blighted spell was ended in 2011 when he was released and signed by QPR. In his 4 year spell at West Ham, he played 34 games and didn’t play a full 90 minutes. He cost West Ham around £450,000 per game.
2) Marco Boogers
“Mad Marco” as labelled by Harry Redknapp, Boogers was signed for £1,000,000 from the Dutch league. Redknapp admitted that he had only seen him in action from videos. The Dutchman became a favourite for fans all over the world after he got sent off on his debut for a rib-high tackle on Gary Neville. After the press called it a “horror tackle”, Boogers had a meltdown and was given permission to go back to Holland for a bit, where it was alleged that he was living in a caravan. He managed to make 4 appearances in the Claret and Blue.
HONOURABLE MENTIONS:
Before we talk about West Ham’s worst signing in the PL era, here are a few signings who didn’t make the cut, but still deserve to be mentioned for their services, or lack of, to West Ham.
Rigobert Song – Cousin of Alex, Rigobert was signed from Liverpool to replace Rio Ferdinand, who signed for Leeds for £18million. Didn’t even come close to emulating Rio, and made 24 appearances in 2 years.
Javier Margas – Famous for his colourful hair, Margas went missing for 3 weeks at West Ham before being found in his native Chile. Played 24 times in 3 years.
Benni McCarthy – The South African failed to score for West Ham and got hilariously fined by Karren Brady for being fat. McCarthy retaliated by calling the Apprentice co-host “the devil with tits” (honestly Google this if you don’t believe me).
Pablo Barrera – Signed for £6million after impressive performances for Mexico at the World Cup in 2010, he made only 6 starts in the league and failed to prevent relegation. Marouane Chamakh – When Jack Sullivan breaks the news of a signing with the word “unfortunately” and ended it with “not my choice”, the rest can surely write itself. The Moroccan played 3 times in his 6 month loan and missed from 2 yards out v Reading.
Roger Johnson – When you are in a relegation battle, what better player to sign than someone who has been relegated 3 times in the past 3 seasons and nicknamed “the Relegator”. Remembered for his performance against Man City in which West Ham lost 6-0 and Johnson ran away from Yaya Toure, who scored as a result of that.
1) Savio Nsereko
The man. The myth. The legend. Savio Nsereko deservedly takes the top spot on this list with what is the most bizarre story in football. Born in war torn Kampala, Uganda, Savio represented Germany internationally and caught the eyes of Gianfranco Zola after his performances in the U-19 Euro Championships in 2009, and was signed for a club record £9million (we really have been quite unlucky with our club record signings haven’t we).
In his 10 games for West Ham, he only recorded 1 assist for Jack Collison against Man City and his 6 month spell was ended in a swap deal with Fiorentina for Manuel Da Costa, who could’ve easily also made this list. He then caught the attention of West Ham fans again after it was reported in the news that he had been arrested in Thailand for faking his own kidnapping to get ransom money off his family. He scored his first goal for 5 years at FC Atyrau, a relegation threatened Kazakh team. He most recently played in the Bulgarian league.
