Rated: Every striker signed by West Ham since 2010
- Michael Oliver
- @MichaelOIiver
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Can you name the last West Ham player to score 15 goals in a Premier League season?
Well done to those who named Paolo Di Canio, way back in the 1999-2000 season. That’s how long it’s been since the Hammers have had a reliable goal-getter in attack.
You can’t really fault our effort, but you can fault our decision making.
Since David’s Gold and Sullivan took over the Hammers in January 2010, the club have signed 31 strikers. Thirty-one. That is absurd.
What West Ham would give to have the likes of Jermain Defoe, Dean Ashton and Marlon Harewood back at the club in their primes to score goals on a regular basis.
If you can’t remember all the miserable failures to grace our club, don’t sweat, I’ve decided to rate each and every striker the Hammers have signed in SuGo’s seven-year tenure at the club.
What a trip down memory lane this will be.
#1: Benni McCarthy, £2.2m from Blackburn
Ah, the first of many mercenaries to join the Hammers.
McCarthy was a decent Premier League player while at Blackburn, netted 52 goals in 140 appearances but was unable to carry that over to West Ham.
He struggled to maintain fitness while in East London, was frequently reporting overweight and made just 14 appearances without scoring in a little over 14 months before being released in April 2011.
RATING: 1/10
#2: Ilan, free transfer from Saint Etienne
The enigmatic Brazilian only spent half a season with the Hammers but played a big role in their yearly survival bid.
Ilan netted four times in 11 appearances, including an equaliser away at Everton and the winner against Sunderland the following week.
He was released in the summer, but no doubt he scored some crucial goals.
RATING: 5/10
#3: Mido, on loan from Middlesbrough
The first of what would prove to be many baffling loan deals by Sullivan in the last seven years.
Mido joined the Hammers on loan until the end of the season in what just screamed ‘panic signing’.
He made nine appearances without scoring and failed to complete the 90 minutes once. Cheers, Mido.
RATING: 2/10
#4: Freddie Piquionne, £1m from Lyon
Piquionne spent a season on loan in the Premier League with Portsmouth before the Hammers signed him in the summer of 2010, scoring 11 goals in 45 games for Pompey.
He never really scored goals on a consistent basis for the Hammers during his two-and-a-half-years at the club, finding the net on just 11 occasions before joining Portland Timbers on a free transfer in March 2013.
RATING: 3/10
#5: Victor Obinna, loan from Inter Milan
When Obinna arrived, there was a lot of buzz about him that we’d managed to secure a bright attacker from Inter Milan.
He flashed brilliance between length spells of ineptitude, which culminated in eight goals in 32 appearances for the club in their 2010/11 relegation season.
RATING: 4/10
#6: Robbie Keane, on loan from Tottenham
Keane was in and out of the Spurs team, so the Hammers decided to take a chance on the once-prolific Premier League striker.
However, Keane managed just two goals in 10 games with many thinking he was a Tottenham undercover agent to ensure West Ham were relegated.
RATING: 2/10
#7: Demba Ba, £700k from Hoffenheim
West Ham needed to bring in a striker in January 2011 who could help us beat the drop, and Demba Ba was the man to do so – or so we had hoped.
Ba quickly became a fan favourite due to his knack for scoring goals, bagging seven in 12 during his half-season stay in East London but it wasn’t enough to fend off relegation.
A clause in his contract allowed Ba to leave on a free transfer, but he still remains a fan favourite for his efforts.
RATING: 7/10
#8: Paul McCallum, £60k from Dulwich Hamlet
West Ham signed highly-rated striker Paul McCallum for a nominal fee in January 2011, but he never made an appearance for the club.
After loan spells at Portsmouth, Rochdale, AFC Wimbledon, Aldershot, Torquay and Hearts, McCallum was released in 2015 and has enjoyed a nice spell with Leyton Orient.
RATING: 1/10
#9: John Carew, free transfer from Aston Villa
Carew joined the Hammers to add some depth to their attacking ranks and to be a more direct option if we needed it.
He was a role player, and he knew it, but he just wasn’t very good at it.
He featured heavily in the first half of the season, but made just four appearances after the turn of the year, scoring twice in 21 appearances in total before being released.
RATING: 2/10
#10: Sam Baldock, £2.4m from MK Dons
Baldock came with a good reputation after some strong years with MK Dons but couldn’t replicate that for the Hammers.
Allardyce favoured Carlton Cole in attack which limited Baldock to just 24 appearances, scoring five goals in the process before being sold the following summer for an £800k loss.
RATING: 3/10
#11: Brian Montenegro, loan from Deportivo Maldonado
The first of several questionable loan deals for unknown South American strikers under SuGo.
Montenegro was a highly-rated youngster but failed to make the grade at West Ham, making just one appearance during his season on loan at the club.
RATING: 1/10
#12: Ricardo Vaz Te, £500k from Barnsley
Vaz Te really was a difference maker for the Hammers over the second half of their promotion campaign.
Scoring 12 goals for the Hammers in the 2011/12 season, Vaz Te will always be remembered as the man who scored the promotion-clinching goal at Wembley.
Unfortunately, he only netted seven more times in the following two-and-a-half-years before being released, but he’s earned a place in all our hearts.
RATING: 7/10
#13: Nicky Maynard, £1.7m from Bristol City
Maynard was another player the Hammers brought in to just add more depth to the squad.
Used in a rotational role, Maynard only scored four goals for the Hammers including one in the play-off semi-final against Cardiff, but was largely unimpressive and was sold in the summer.
RATING: 2/10
#14: Modibo Maiga, £5m from Sochaux
West Ham’s return to the Premier League – we needed to make a statement of intent.
Signing Modibo Maiga was not that statement.
In three years at the club, Maiga really failed to impress, scoring seven goals in 45 appearances but we’ll always have the moment he scored the winner at White Hart Lane.
RATING: 2/10
#15: Andy Carroll, on loan from liverpool
This was the real statement of intent, bringing in Andy Carroll from Liverpool.
In a move which became permanent the following summer for £15m, Carroll hasn’t fulfilled his potential during four injury-hit years.
However, perhaps now we will see the best of him, I still have hope.
RATING: 6/10
#16: Sean Maguire, £40k from Waterford United
Another promising young striker who failed to make a first-team impact in East London.
After coming over from Ireland, Maguire was sent out on loan to a number of Football League sides before being released in the summer of 2015. He’s revived his career in Ireland with Cork City.
RATING: 1/10
#17: Marouane Chamakh, on loan from Arsenal
After failing to make a single PL appearance for Arsenal in the first-half of the season, the Hammers took a chance on Chamakh to make an impact.
Joining in early January, he made three appearances that month, didn’t score, and didn’t feature again all season.
What a pointless signing he was.
RATING: 1/10
#18: Wellington Paulista, on loan from Cruzeiro
Speaking of pointless signings, Wellington Paulista comes to mind as the latest dodgy South American striker to grace East London.
To summarise: Six-month loan, no appearances, no goals. Nice one.
He now plays for Chapecoense, so that’s nice.
RATING: 1/10
#19: Mladen Petric, free transfer from Fulham
West Ham were in a striker crisis after Carroll got injured on debut and dipped into the free agent market to find a stop-gap.
The best they could come up with was Mladen Petric, who was unattached after being released by Fulham.
Signed on a deal until January, Petric made four sub appearances without scoring before suffering a calf injury which ruled him out until the New Year when he was promptly released.
RATING: 1/10
#20: Carlton Cole, free transfer from, well, us
Now with Petric out, the Hammers (again) looked at free agents to fill the void.
They decided to bring back Carlton Cole, who they released in the summer, on a deal until mid-January because he was familiar with the club and the team.
Cole was a quick flash in the pan, scoring four goals between October and January, earning himself a new 18-month contract.
All in all, Cole never really became the reliable striker the Hammers wanted or needed, but he played a vital role in the squad.
RATING: 5/10
#21: Jaanai Gordon, £3.5m from Peterborough
The Hammers signed Gordon in a deal which could be worth £3.5m one day from Peterborough after impressing on trial.
However, he’s not elevated his game enough to be considered in the first-team and has spent the majority of his West Ham career out on loan.
It looks likely he’ll go the way of Sean Maguire and Paul McCallum before him.
RATING: 1/10
#22: Marco Borriello, on loan from Roma
West Ham ended the January 2014 window by bringing in a trio of loans from Serie A, most notably Marco Borriello.
The Italian international made two appearances for the Hammers during his brief spell with the club and couldn’t have been worse.
RATING: 1/10
#23: Mauro Zarate, free transfer from Velez
Zarate paid his £2m release clause out of his own pocket to move from Velez to West Ham in the summer of 2014 which made him an instant hit with the fans.
However, under both Allardyce and Bilic, he was in and out of the side due to injuries or apparent attitude issues.
The Argentine had a knack for coming up with goals but he left for Fiorentina in 2016 to get some regular game time.
RATING: 5/10
#24: Enner Valencia, £12m from Pachuca
Valencia might be the most frustrating West Ham player of the last decade.
We’re all aware of his ability and he’s scored some cracking goals for the Hammers but they are few and far between.
Currently out on loan with Everton after scoring just 10 goals in 72 appearances and doesn’t appear to have much of a future at the club.
RATING: 4/10
#25: Diafra Sakho, £4m from FC Metz
Sakho’s 12 goals in 26 appearances during his maiden season gave fans hope that perhaps we’ve found that striker who can score consistently for us.
However, injuries and attitude issues have limited his progress ever since and he’s still on the sidelines until March.
That being said, he’s got a role to play in the squad for years to come if he keeps his head screwed on.
RATING: 6/10
#26: Nikica Jelavic, £3.5m from Hull
Slaven Bilic brought in Jelavic because he knew what his fellow Croatian could offer the Hammers as a reserve striker.
Jelavic made 15 appearances for the club, scoring twice, but wasn’t part of the first-team picture and was sold for a marginal profit to China.
RATING: 3/10
#27: Luka Belic, free transfer from OFK Beograd
Belic is a talented young striker who was signed for the Development Squad.
However, he’s not made a great impact and is currently on loan with Motherwell. Not many remember this one.
RATING: 1/10
#28: Toni Martinez, £500k from Valencia
Martinez is another who was signed for the Development squad but he’s hit the ground running.
Scoring goals for fun for the U23s, it won’t be long before Martinez is in the first-team.
RATING: 7/10
#29: Ashley Fletcher, free transfer from Manchester United
Fletcher has had a role in the first-team much earlier than he expected and hasn’t disappointed.
Scoring his first West Ham goal against his former club Manchester United, Fletcher has proven that he has significant potential to be a big player for us.
RATING: 7/10
#30: Jonathan Calleri, on loan from Deportivo Maldonado
Calleri joined on loan with a good reputation after scoring 16 in 31 for Sao Paulo.
He’s failed to live up to the hype after making nine poor appearances for the Hammers without scoring and it appears his loan deal will be cut short.
Will go down as one of our biggest flops.
RATING: 1/10
#31: Simone Zaza, on loan from Juventus
Zaza was meant to be the marquee striker signing we’ve been craving for many years – to solve all our issues.
However, it hasn’t materialised. Zaza is a complete flop, scoring no goals in 11 appearances prompting the club to terminate his loan half-way through.
Will go down as the biggest flop we’ve signed under SuGo.
RATING: 1/10