This week I was privileged to be able to have a sit down and chat with the twitter enigma that is @_CarltonCole9.
We’re all familiar with the witticisms and banter that they put out on twitter, despite explaining they’re neither of those things, and we’d all like a sneak peak into what goes on in that brain! So here’s our interview with the one and only, Fake Carlton Cole.
MORE: Take our Carlton Cole Quiz! Five questions. One man.
How did you become a West Ham fan?
I grew up in a family of Man United fans, but I noticed all the Man United fans got picked on at school so I didn’t want to support them. I was only properly getting into football in like 2006, and I admired West Ham’s FA Cup run and how they played in the final, so I started following their progress. 9 years later and after a lot of hurt, I just sticked with them.
When did you decided to create your account, and why did you pick Carlton Cole to create a parody account of?
I think it was like in summer 2012, and I was looking on Twitter and saw how many followers parody accounts of footballers like John Terry & Mario Balotelli were getting, so I thought it would be easy to get followers. It took me like 2 months to get 100 followers, so I was wrong. But for some reason I decided to carry on, and my follower count started rising rapidly, so I thought I’d keep it.
As for Carlton Cole, I noticed there weren’t many West Ham players in that group, so I chose who I thought was the most recognisable West Ham player, which at the time was Carlton. I haven’t really “parodied” Carlton so much for quite a while, I have mainly been more of a general football/West Ham account, but I have become too attached to my handle to let go of it.
So what next for you? With Carlton leaving, will you be staying on?
Haha I get asked that all the time. Carlton has already left once whilst I’ve had this account and almost left last January, and I always say that I will stay on. I reckon I have 1 or 2 years left in this before I flog this account. You’d be surprised how much people would pay for an account with 20k+ real followers. Unreal amounts. But I reckon I could squeeze in a couple more quid by staying on.
What did you make of this past season, right decision for Sam Allardyce to go?
At the end of the last season, as I’m sure you will remember, the board gave Sam Allardyce an ultimatum of “Play attacking football or get sacked”, and I was quite sceptical of this because I wasn’t sure if a leopard could change it’s spots, especially a leopard as stubborn as Sam Allardyce.
But in fairness, for that first half a season up until Boxing Day, I was proved wrong. We were somehow one of the best teams in the league. But as 2015 progressed, the stubbornness came back. Decisions like moving Downing to the wing when he was playing the best football of his life in CAM was one of the reasons for our downfall and his defensive, boring tactics came back. So although he has done a great job for West Ham, it was definitely time to call it a night for Big Sam.
Who do you think should be the man to replace him?
I literally cannot say. Whenever we get linked with a manager, it usually ends up with disappointment. It seems that there’s only 2 or 3 left. Bilic, Emery and possibly Bielsa. I would be happy with all of those, but whoever we get, he needs to be appointed soon as our season starts in under a month, so the board need to hurry up.
What do you make of our qualifying into the Europa League? Will it be a hindrance to our 2015/16 campaign?
I think that although it will hinder our league form, having European football in our last season at Upton Park will be brilliant. If you gave me the choice of an 8th place finish without a European run or 15th with a European run, I would personally take the latter.
If West Ham could sign one (realistic) target this summer, who would it be and why?
We desperately need a striker, and Javier Hernandez at £8million would be a steal. Quick, prem experience and can score. Just what we need.
Who’s your favourite West Ham player, past and/or present?
Carlton Cole. Best there is, best there was, and the best there ever will be.
MORE: In this week’s Roundtable, our writers recount their favourite Carlton Cole moments.
In one word, describe Joey O’Brien?
Sex-machine.
What’s your proudest/favourite moment on twitter?
I would have to be when I got Papa Bouba Diop’s number. I remember it was on Christmas Day and I just asked innocently for a follow, and then he wished me Merry Christmas and followed me. So I decided to test if he thought I was real Carlton, so I asked for his number, not expecting a response. And for some reason he actually gave me his number thinking I was real Carlton.I personally haven’t messaged him, but someone I know has. Then out of the blue, it was mentioned in a mainstream sports website.
